beauty is in the eye of the beholder
I was asked several times whether I could write in English. Of course I can, not perfectly though but still. However, I do it on rare occasions – like when I wanna say something that is pretty important to me but too private to write in Russian. Since not everyone from my surroundings speaks English, I can hide something from them by writing like that. Maybe someday I will use such opportunity, but not now. Now I don’t wanna write about my inner feelings at all. I’m too cranky and vulnerable on that time. And a little annoyed. Just a little, yeah.
Funny that it's still true when you say something like this to a person who understands you. But you just couldn't have said it in Russian and won't repeat it in Russian if asked.